Thursday, November 24, 2016

I'm Full of It

Wherein it = thank. I am full of thank.

Yes, the next four years are going to be scary. When a man who believes in gay conversion therapy is considered the sane one in the bunch, we've got problems. But as worried as I am about the coming Trumpocalypse, more than anything else I am thankful.

For what am I thankful? I'm glad I'm pretending you asked.
  • Everyone who voted for those turkeys, because without them we wouldn't yet know just how broken our country is, and now we can work to fix it.
     
  • My son, because to him I'm the funniest person in the world.
     
  • Improv, because sometimes a guy just needs to pretend he's plankton for a while, or to sing of the many benefits of a lost toe.1
     
  • Friends and family, because alliteration? Awesome.
     
  • Those times when you think you're out of cheese but it turns out you still have some cheese left, because mmm cheese.
     
  • Cats and kittens, because they make absolutely fantastic hand warmers during the cold winter months.
     
  • Cold winter months, because of what I already said about cats and kittens. Do I have to draw you a diagram?
     
  • Epiphany moments, because, I mean, c'mon.
     
  • And of course, my lovely wife Denise, because even after all this time, her taste in husbands has not improved one bit.

Happy Turkey Day, everyone!


1 You save money on nail polish, for instance. And pedicures. Toe stubbings drop 10%. Plus, now your foot will fit into that dashing prince's glass slipper.

1 comment:

  1. I am thankful for hand warmers because hand warmers are cats and kittens (we might need a bigger diagram)

    ReplyDelete